Monday, October 6, 2008

Caught Between a Marriage and a Hard Place...

Lucy has been in an awful state lately—very depressed, angry, miserable, and she's been having some suicidal ideation. Not good.

The weekend before this last one, she and her husband were able to have some reasoned discussion about the state of their marriage and, at the time, it seemed like he agreed with her that it's not working out and that it's time to end things.

Then he said he didn't care what happened and that the decision was entirely up to her.

Now he's been pressuring her to make a choice. First he insists that he doesn't care what the answer is but after she says she wants to end things he gets pissed. She's trapped.

I think Lucy knows that this isn't likely, but she doesn't want to cause a stir or a scandal. She wants the decision to be mutual. She's afraid of being the villain in all this, hated by her own family as well as her husband's.

She dreams of running away. Of quitting her job and leaving for another city. She always feels sick and she doesn't like eating.

I hate seeing her in this state. I so want to fix all her problems, sweep every obstacle aside, and grant her every desire. I know these things aren't possible. I know the most I can do is be here for her, support her, try and not get sucked into a bad mood with her.

But as frustrating as it is to see her suffer so much, I'm still absolutely crazy head-over-heels about her. I like her so much it hurts.

I'm really sappy, I know. I feel pretty pathetic writing about these things.

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