Hey,
This all did make sense.
You have a right to tell me to back off and I'll totally do it. I act the way I do because it seem to make you happy, but I can stop, though.
And I'm really sorry that you feel you have to hide things from me. I don't want you to be miserable, even 1% of the time, even if you're with your husband.
I'm saddened by this development, but I'll deal I suppose. Do you want to "just be friends"? How much do you want to cut back? Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it the best I can.
I'm sorry for the short reply... I slept in here and have a nice headache.
Laters
9/15/08 11:09 AM
Hi Lucy,
Thank you for the email, it's put me at ease some. It keeps occurring to me that I've done or said something (or been doing or saying something) that has made you feel like you can't share everything with me or that you have to walk around on eggshells with me. More than wanting to go back to being just friends, that you feel you can't talk with me has been a painful thing to imagine. Anything I can do, please just tell me and I'll do it.
Is it because of what I said about you and Mickey? Honestly, I'm happy that you're friends with him and that you got to spend the day with him. I really am. I wish I'd never sent that email.
Anyhoo, I'm happy just being friends, and I'll cut out the flirting now that you've clearly drawn that line. I'll just have to try and make you happy in non-flirty ways.
Hope you're having a good day.
9/16/08 9:47 AM
Hey Lucy,
I've been really unsure of what to say here. I've had this reply window open for two hours now and I haven't written anything yet. I've had tons of thoughts over the last few days but I'm not sure I should share any of them because I feel like they'd only make the situation worse and hurt you more. I also hesitate to write in general because I'm not sure when, if ever, you'd reply.
I'm actually feeling pretty hurt here. I don't think I should say that because I know you'll blame yourself. But I don't blame you and I'm not angry or upset or anything with you. I feel like, maybe, I'm going through some kind of "break up" phase, if that makes any kind of sense. I still want to be friends with you, but it's probably going to take me a while to learn how to act around you, especially since we're working with each other so little now.
You've always been the restrained one, so I don't know if you're going through something similar.
Since I read your email on Sunday, though I've been trying to ignore or defuse this line of thinking, I've been struck with the sensation, in my chest, that something's gone sour between us and that nothing will ever be the same and that, eventually, the relationship between us, whether romantic or "just friends," has its days numbered.
I'm relieved to know that I'm not causing you to pull away from me, but I don't find it any easier to know that you're doing it. What can I do to help? What can I do to fix things? I'm not expecting you to have any answers.
I'm not sure I should've written any of this. I feel like anything I say is just going to make you miserable. I hope that's not the case. I hope you're having an awesome day.
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