Updates with Lucy

Thanks goes to Susan, from If you're going through hell keep going, for reminding me that someone might actually be reading this site (24 someones, at the time of this writing!) and that some updates might be in order.

Several days after the last letter in this post, my mood lifted suddenly. Like, I could literally feel the mood lift, in my head, like a veil being pulled away or some pressure being released, and I said "I've been pretty upset for no real reason." After all, it's not like Lucy was rejecting me or saying she didn't like me or "breaking up" with me, even though that's how I was taking it. I feel pretty damned stupid for how upset I was.

Lucy just wanted me to back off on the overt flirtacious behavior I was doing out in public. She's very afraid of being caught by her husband or by one of her husband's friends. I'm trying my best here, but I have trouble with self control. The other day, her husband came into the store to pick her up after work (even though her house is only a five minute walk away) and to pick up a few things (using her employee discount). I told myself not to look over, to catch a few more glimpses of her before she left, but my body moved spontaneously and I found myself looking over and over and over. While Lucy didn't see this herself, her husband did and he was not happy about it, and they fought about it after they left.

Lucy has also visited me in my apartment a couple times these past two weeks, since we've been lucky that her's, her husband's, and my work and school schedules have left Tuesday and Thursday mornings free. The first time we watched a dvd she picked up on the recommendation of one of her professors and the second time I made her lunch. (Homemade pizza! I make the crust and everything.) Both visits ended with cuddling sessions, intense and heavenly, but borderline dangerous.

We don't know when we'll get to visit like this again because she has a ton of school work hanging over her head, but the next time we do I now have a copy of Harvey on dvd, which I've been meaning to share with her for a while now.